future

ok well, I don't know if I have said this before but I'm 17 which means I'm at the fatal age of deciding what I'm going to get up and do almost everyday for 40 years, 13760 days, 110080 hours including weekends, excluding a 3 week holiday, which according to our LO teacher is in fact the norm and it not human torture. ok firstly I hardly get through a 8 week term without dying, and that's having a break down at least once a week, so I will basically have 49 break  downs a year, so how the hell I'm I going to get through that. and secondly, HELLO I'm 17, I don't even know what 13760 days feels like, how I'm I supposed to know what I want to do, I mean 7 years ago I wanted to be in the 15 hundreds cooking and cleaning and all of the sudden I'm expected to know a realistic job that I can do, hint, no.


but it's all fine and well when you are told by some adult, with much more life experience that you can change what ever you decide to do at anytime, this is just the beginning, what happens if I get stuck in the same dragging job for the rest of my life? what happens if I don't get employed? what happens if I don't get the marks I need to get to do what I want to do? what happens if I die while I'm doing the job I don't want to do, and then I have literally spent my entire life doing something I don't want to do? what happens if I'm not good enough to do what I want to do? I mean stuff happens we don't know... so to all the adults that are out there that doesn't help, and all.


then there's the classic do what you love. um I love daydreaming in my bed making up random stories in my head, you tell me is there a job that I can do that all day, if so tell me and I'll do it. and also in the world finical crises there are literally thousands of unemployed people, now a days it's not about what you love it's what you can get a job at, realism has to play a part in this oh so important decision.
anyway why I'm writing about this is because I have to do work experience for four days sometime soon, and guess what, I don't know what I want to do. I thought maybe fashion design, or make-up artist, environmentalist or a consular. all in the same field, right? yeah, no. so what do I do? plus also to find a business that actually reply when I email them is seemingly quite a mission.


so that's my little story for today.
please comment if you have any similar stories to tell the open space of the internet.
have a good day
talk soon

well I'm back again and just to say I've started a new blog that talks about stopping bullying. well actually I'm creating it this minute so I don't know much about it's just a place that people can write video or what ever about their experiences, and it's not one of those gloom and doom blogs it's full of hope and it's for everyone. so if you have been bullied or someone you know have been bullied share the story and share hope.  just in case your thinking it yes I've been bullied, but that's not why I started it. it's because a good friend of mine was cyber bullied and has now left the school. it's revolting  and should not be permitted in any society, but it has become a norm for so many people, so it's time to take a stand and stop this.


anyway back to my point of writing in this blog. in my last blog post i was telling you who i am, which must have been dull but anyway

Looking at life differently

ok, so I started this blog like a year ago and haven't written anything else, I can blame it on personal issues, not having enough time and la de da, but it's not true I've been lazy, and as I am looking at life a little differently I've deicide to actually start! because I have something to say that may help some people out there.


ok so I'm a teenager girl in boarding school, and have been so since I was 12. to that I haven't struggled immensely would be a lie, and it's not so much that I miss my family because at times I do have the stereotype characteristic of teenagers being that I want to get away from my family, don't get me wrong I love my family and I think their amazing it's just, sometimes I really don't think they understand me, which I'm sure about every teenager in the world is thinking the same, and I don't want to sound like brat or anything but it's the truth. the main reason I have struggled through boarding school, is well I don't think like other people, I don't like parties, clubs, drinking and drugs, it would be last thing I would want to do in the whole world PARTY in club with people drinking to drugs and making out with their boyfriends.


ok off to class, I will carry this on later