future

ok well, I don't know if I have said this before but I'm 17 which means I'm at the fatal age of deciding what I'm going to get up and do almost everyday for 40 years, 13760 days, 110080 hours including weekends, excluding a 3 week holiday, which according to our LO teacher is in fact the norm and it not human torture. ok firstly I hardly get through a 8 week term without dying, and that's having a break down at least once a week, so I will basically have 49 break  downs a year, so how the hell I'm I going to get through that. and secondly, HELLO I'm 17, I don't even know what 13760 days feels like, how I'm I supposed to know what I want to do, I mean 7 years ago I wanted to be in the 15 hundreds cooking and cleaning and all of the sudden I'm expected to know a realistic job that I can do, hint, no.


but it's all fine and well when you are told by some adult, with much more life experience that you can change what ever you decide to do at anytime, this is just the beginning, what happens if I get stuck in the same dragging job for the rest of my life? what happens if I don't get employed? what happens if I don't get the marks I need to get to do what I want to do? what happens if I die while I'm doing the job I don't want to do, and then I have literally spent my entire life doing something I don't want to do? what happens if I'm not good enough to do what I want to do? I mean stuff happens we don't know... so to all the adults that are out there that doesn't help, and all.


then there's the classic do what you love. um I love daydreaming in my bed making up random stories in my head, you tell me is there a job that I can do that all day, if so tell me and I'll do it. and also in the world finical crises there are literally thousands of unemployed people, now a days it's not about what you love it's what you can get a job at, realism has to play a part in this oh so important decision.
anyway why I'm writing about this is because I have to do work experience for four days sometime soon, and guess what, I don't know what I want to do. I thought maybe fashion design, or make-up artist, environmentalist or a consular. all in the same field, right? yeah, no. so what do I do? plus also to find a business that actually reply when I email them is seemingly quite a mission.


so that's my little story for today.
please comment if you have any similar stories to tell the open space of the internet.
have a good day
talk soon